caerula's Diaryland Diary

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Of kitties and case workers

Well, I did miss writing yesterday, but for good cause. More on that later. First I must bitch and moan about a list issue that's been bugging me, and several of my cohorts as well.

There's this completely insane woman who has a history of harassingour list[s]. We know she's crazy, although we have no proof her actions can be explained by little else. She has manifested under three seperate personalities so far, and as soon as she turns up onlist everyone seems to freak out, instead of just letting the moderators calmly deal with it. So most recently, she attempted to email the list even though she had been banned, and also cc'd the message to several listmembers and the moderators. One of the moderators volunteered to handle the problem, and we let him.
This was a mistake, I fear. He is enjoying himself far too much, he's turned it into a personal grudge instead of a list issue, and it's given him a greatly inflated sense of self-importance. We get probably 5 or 6 emails a day from him updating us on how he is pursuing the matter, and that is much more frequent and annoying than the crazy woman who started all this. It should be such a small thing, really, albeit a nuisance -- ignore her; if she tries to resub under another addy, it won't take her long to reveal herself and we'll ban her again. Ad infinitum, probably, but that's part of being a moderator. If she keeps it up, we'll complain t all of her various service providers and one would hope that would give her pause. Proceeding in arguing with her isn't going to get Ego-man anywhere, and will just end with him being very frustrated. I know people like this. I've dealt with truly insane people in my immediate family. He will never, ever be able to convince her that her delusions are not real, that she is not welcome, that she is clearly making things up. She won't ever admit it, and we cannot help her.

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So anyway, yesterday was an incredibly busy day, and I had very little computer time. Boss was hovering at work, and usually I can slip in email and writing time, but not yesterday. Had to leave early to take YB to a Friend of the Court meeting, which is an hour-and-a-half drive. It went fairly well, I think, considering. We have a new case worker, a youngish man who is married with a young family, and I think that will help him relate to our situation. The last case worker, who thankfully retired this year, was an older grandma-type who related far to much to the Dementors and had a major prejudice against BB for not being there when his child was born. Never mind that he's spend the last 7 years making up for that, spending far more time with his child then D#3, YB's mother, who couldn't deal with it when her baby was sick and dumped him on her parents without even telling BB that YB had ever been born. Dementors were supposed to put in an appearance at this meeting but did not, which won't help them any in CW's eyes. He met with YP for half-an-hour or so, which YB was rather nervous about. Going in I just told him, "just tell the truth about everything and you'll be fine." Then CW met with me for a few minutes -- BB unfortunately could not get off work for this -- and did tell me that he puts a lot of weight on the child's wishes, but also understood how difficult this was for YB and that YB obviously didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. He was impressed with YB's school progress, which has been really amazing since January -- he's gained almost a full year reading level, and is nearly caught up with where he should be at his grade. Being the new guy, CW clearly doesn't have a grasp of the history of this case and harbors hope that we will be able to work it out, but that is just so not going to happen that it's hardly worth discussing.

For once, I actually left FoC with a decent, if not great, feeling. I wasn't totally downcast, at least, and that's rare after being there.

We then went up to visit with Kitty, my sister. Kitty because she seem so sweet and innocent and loving, and then without warning will make you bleed from a hundred little scratches, all minor but damn painful when you put them together. We went to dinner and to a quilt shop, where she kept telling YB not to touch anything. It's fabric, for god's sake, how is he going to break it? I almost gagged when I walked into her apartment, the kitty litter smell is so strong. She has three cats, and cleans up after them not at all. Now that CF (brother-in-law) is working out of town, and she's staying at the apartment until they find a house in TC, there's no one to do the stuff she forgets, like water the plants and clean out the cat box. So the apartment is a wreck, although, I admit, not as bad as I expected. Kitty was very excited because they put in a bid on a house yesterday, and, predictably, very condescending about ours.
We are buying a modular, which we hope to be in by the end of July. No, it's not ideal, but it's the best we can do right now in this ridiculous housing market. Since we know we don't want to keep YB in this school system if he stays with us, but can't move him right now as he's had too many disruptions this year already, it seems the best solution. And it's going to be really nice; there's no basement, and it's a little tiny lot, but it has 1600 square feet, for pete's sake, and we have no one living behind us. We will have more room than I ever dreamed we'd be able to afford. And despite the fact that the house Kitty and CF found is 970-something square feet, with an unfinished basement, every time she talks to me I get this "we're getting a REAL house, and you're not" impression that makes me want to slap her. Aargh.

So we got home very late last night, sent YB right to bed, and was heading there myself when BB got home from work and I had to stay up and fill him on on the FoC meeting. I think it made him feel better, too, and he's so discouraged right now that every little bit helps. The other night he told me he feels like God is punishing him. What a terrible way to feel, and there's nothing I can say to help. Who knows why crap like this happens? It certainly has nothing to do with God, if there is one, unless he's a lot more vindictive than I was taught in Sunday School.

7:44 a.m. - 2001-06-05

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