caerula's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- normalcy Things have to go back to normal, or at least some semblance thereof, and for the sake of our sanity it has to be sooner rather than later. So tonight we go to YMB's open house, and we continue unpacking and sorting and settling, Saturday I'll go to the AAUW giant used book sale and probably be really happy while I'm there. Blue's going to give blood, and since I can't do that I'll make blocks for the WTC memorial quilt. It's not much, but it's something. I told Blue last night, when he came back in the den after putting YMB to bed and found me watching Barbara Walters holding up pictures of victims, that I feel like I have to watch tv because I need to feel bad. I'm not affected, no one I know in New York or DC was hurt, just inconvenienced, and it makes me feel guilty somehow. I feel that I shouldn't just let things go back to normal, and so I obsessively watch television and let myself get pulled into first person accounts, stories from victims' families, film of people walking Manhattan streets clutching pictures of their missing mother, brother, husband, fiancee. But I have to stop. Sinking myself into it won't help any of them, and it will only hurt me and my loved ones. We do what we can, even if it seems like very little, and although moving on seems wrong, it is also a small victory. There's still nothing else to write about, much as I want to have a normal chatty entry. All conversations lately have come back to this, and everything else has faded into the background. Soon, maybe even by tomorrow, I'll be able to write about something else. Tomorrow there'll be YMB's Open House to write about, his classroom and his teacher and his schoolmates. Saturday I'll go to the book sale and my quilt guild meeting, and all weekend I'll work in the house, which we still are trying to get somewhat organized. Things will settle down, tv will start showing other things besides news again, and we'll go back to normal. As normal as things will ever be. 10:52 a.m. - 2001-09-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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