caerula's Diaryland Diary

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i mean it. never.

I will never drink that much again. Ever. Never. I swear.

I still have a headache.

Actually, it would be more accurate to say I have a headache again. I woke up with one yesterday morning, which eventually went away -- apparently to recruit some friends -- and came back last night. It was gone this morning, but now has come back again since I turned on the monitor here at work and have to look directly at the screen. Blahsuck, as Natalieeeeeee would say.

So, let's see. Saturday was spent experiementing with my hair in the morning, trying to decide how to do it for the wedding. Kitty arrived around three pm and we demolished her suitcase and my closet, looking for things to wear. Kitty ended up with black wide-legged pants and a long silky tunic-thing; I wore a long black velvet skirt I'd forgotten I owned and a shinyish burgandy shirt. The shirt is actually too tight, but we went to Target and each got black tanks to wear under our shirts so we could leave them mostly unbuttoned, so it was okay. Then we went to my cousin's graduation party, which I'm not even going to talk about, there are so many family issues going on right now. Fortunately Kitty and I were just able to stop by since we had to pick up Minnie at 6:30, and we still had to go get her present together. So then we went to Target and got the tank tops, and found Minnie a lovely gold bra and panties set adorned with feathers (who knew they have such things at Target?) and then went on to the sex store, where Kitty was quite impressed with the variety but disappointed that the store wasn't skeezy or anything, but was in fact quite pleasant.

We gathered a variety of novelty condoms, penis-shaped pasta, a purple feather boa, and gummy butts, and were on our way. The clerk helpfully provided us with tape so we could tape red and green condoms to the outside of the gift bag, to the amusement of the guy behind us buying the economy-sized box of condoms. Kitty refused to carry the bag after that, so I was stuck with it for the rest of the evening.

We picked up Minnie and finally made it to the hotel, where everyone else had already arrived and begun the party. Besides the three of us were Minnie's friends -- Steph, the maid of honor, who has been Minnie's best friend since third grade; Jill, a former roommate who came from Missouri for this extravaganza, and Jen and Kate. The other bridesmaid had cancelled at the last minute, annoying as she was supposed to be sharing the cost of all this. Kate, another chef, made a penis cake, with disturbingly flesh colored icing and the words "Suck Me Beautiful" on it. We also had three jugs of various wine products, several six packs of Smirnoff Ice, Kahlua, and various foodstuffs. We sat around in the hotel room drinking and talking about sex for quite some time, gave Minnie her presents (from the other girls she got thong underwear and a large penis-shaped water bottle, which accompanied us down to the club), then we got ready and went down. My tank top was a bit tighter than I'd expected, and I was wearing my Wonder Bra, so all in all my cleavage was rather more abundant and exposed then it needed to be, but by the time we got ready I already had enough of a buzz on that it didn't bother me nearly as much. We adorned ourselves with glitter makeup and headed down.

The club was decent as these things go -- fairly upscale yuppish, so I didn't feel too old or untrendy. They played techno music all night which I didn't recognize, but other than that the atmosphere wasn't bad -- and it wasn't too smoky, which was a nice change. There was a party package put together for Minnie, which included the aforementioned penis straws, a wind-up walking penis which seemed like the most hilarious thing in the world after a few drinks, a book of "love coupons," and a scavenger hunt which earned us a free drink upon completion. Among the things we had to do was find out the color of the bartender's underwear (he dropped his pants when we asked, much to our amusement), kiss a guy named Bob (although the guy certainly wasn't REALLY named Bob, it was probably really Mario or something), get a business card, get various phone numbers, get a condom from a guy's wallet, stuff like that. Minnie wasn't much into it at first, but as she got more and more buzzed and guys started paying more and more attention to her, she found it vastly entertaining.

With all due modesty, I must say that we were men magnets. We decided at the time that it was the boa, but upon reflection it was more likely all the cleavage. I certainly had my share of guys asking me to dance, and as a group we certainly had lots of guys appropriating us on the dance floor. Entertaining but a little scary; fortunately it wasn't a skeezy club and we never felt threatened or freaked. The guys were mostly very polite and the ones who weren't we were able to get rid of.

We drank from huge blue drinks with our penis straws, screamed and yelled a lot, danced, sang, flirted, and really had a lot of fun. Minnie's friends were very nice, definitely the type you can get drunk with and lean on when you decided it's time to take a little nap at the bar. I hadn't realized until it was too late how much of my alcohol tolerance I've lost since I've been out of school; three glasses of wine and a Smirnoff Ice and I was toast. That of course didn't stop me from drinking my share of the blue stuff, whatever it was; at that point I figured I was already done for, so I might as well keep drinking. You know the point when you're so drunk you feel the need to keep telling everyone how drunk you are? I was way past that. I kept telling people that I was a librarian, I guess to convince them that I'm not normally a cleavagy sparkley slut.

We went back up to the room around 2:30, foisting off offers to go to other people's rooms or cars or whatnot, and kept drinking and talking til perhaps 4 am, when we finally all gave up and went to bed. We were rudely awoken at SEVEN IN THE MORNING by the people in the room next door, who apparently had not stopped partying all night and were still laughing loudly and talking. I really wanted to kill them, and if I could have left the bed I certainly would have committed murder.

The other girls, who I suspect do this rather more often, didn't seem to be in such bad shape. Poor Minnie, however, had to sit on the floor in the bathroom for a good twenty minutes before she could get up without throwing up. We all were much worse for the wear. We had leftover penis cake for breakfast (except for Minnie) and staggered home. Kitty unfortunately had the five hour drive back up to TC, but I went to bed and slept for three hours while Blue went to pick up YMB. I felt a little better after that, but accomplished absolutely nothing all day except for drinking about nineteen glasses of water and rereading Brisingamen. I went to bed at 8:30 and slept like a log until time to get up this morning -- which I was not happy about -- but had horrid dreams.

I will NEVER drink that much again.

9:43 a.m. - 2001-12-17

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