caerula's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- family blahs My family is insane. This isn't news, of course, but sometimes I am forcibly reminded of things that I try to generally put out of my mind. Like the fact that I have a cousin who thinks it's just fine to bribe her girls (10 and 7) to cooperate with something-or-other by letting them dye their hair red. Not the color gel stuff, but actual permanent hair dye. Can't begin to tell you how silly they look, never mind how inappropriate it is. Girls have enough image and body issues, don't encourage them to be unhappy with their appearance that young. This rant brought to you courtesy of Kitty's baby shower this past weekend. Haven't seen many of these people since Christmastime, so I'd been able to push much of this weirdness out of my consciousness. We are such freaking perfectionists, too. Mom, Minnie and her friend Steph, Kitty, and I were setting up Saturday morning. Mom and Minnie were dealing with food, Kitty was doing things she could do while sitting, since she's swelled up like a balloon, and Steph and I were decorating. Other people would be happy to spread out some tablecloths, scatter the balloons around, and call it a day. No, we have to arrange star-and-moon glitter on every table, make sure each table has roughly the same amount of glitter, display the cake, arrange flowers, tie little ribbons around candles for favors, etc. Kitty looks up from her ribbon-cutting, half-an-hour before the shower is supposed to start, and says, "It's really not fair for God to make people who are perfectionists and procrastinators." Truer words were never spoken. It was a nice day, though. Kitty got lots of the things of her registry, almost everyone came who said they would, and Grandma was fairly well behaved. Even the Diva kept herself under control; she went off and pouted once for some indeterminate reason, but there were no screaming hissy fits. I'm sure part of that was due to her mom Tee not being there; she was under Auntie's supervision, and she's much better behaved when that's the case. Of course I think it's pathetic that the Diva and Bubbles have been with Auntie pretty much for two weeks straight because their mom can't bother with them in between business trips, but oh well. Yet another cousin is pregnant. That was the only really hard moment for me, when they announced it. Auntie � whose niece is one of the moms � had a major problem with them telling people at the shower, although they were low-key about it and told people individually, and didn't make a fuss. I think they just wanted to be able to tell Kitty while she was here so they could pick her brain. Auntie also told us at length later, while we were cleaning up, how she thinks they should have adopted instead of doing artificial insemination. Apparently because, being a lesbian couple, they aren't going to get pregnant the "regular" way, it's just selfish to want to give birth to a child who already will only be related by blood to one of them. Naturally, I have a problem with this. Auntie has also made it clear to me many times that she thinks we should adopt. And while it's an option we're leaving open, we do want to rule out the possibility of having our natural child first. I suppose because her daughter Tee had fertility issues, and ended up adopting the Diva and Buttercup, Auntie thinks everyone who can't have kids should adopt instead of putting themselves through fertility treatments. Never mind that adoption is more expensive, with more legal hoops to jump through, takes longer in most cases, and isn't right for every one. I kept my mouth shut while Auntie was complaining, because I didn't want to get into anything on what was supposed to be Kitty's day. But argh. Mom also had to take Grandma aside and tell her to stop telling Kitty dead baby stories. Grandma had two stillbirths and two miscarriages, and was a nurse, so she's seen her share of the horrible things that can happen. But who in their right mind would be telling all these stories to a woman who is seven months along and has already had a difficult pregnancy? Well, that's just it of course, she's not in her right mind. She denied ever saying anything to Kitty about it, and was angry with Mom the rest of the day. Grandma's also taken to telling me all about all of Tee's fertility issues and how the doctors were just lying all along and she was never going to get pregnant anyway, they just wanted the money blah blah blah. A large chunk of which money was apparently provided by Grandma. I told her I didn't want to hear it, and she was, of course, offended. Sigh. Note: Grandma has never volunteered to pay for anything for my medical treatments, and I wouldn't take money from her if I was starving, so it's a moot point. But still it rankles some. All right, I'm stopping. As Blue is always reminding me, it doesn't do any good to dwell on it. But oh, they make me want to beat my head against the wall. Kitty is here for a couple more days, and I think Mom, Kitty, Minnie and I are going to dinner tonight, where we can dish about our crazy family at will. That should help me feel better. And Kitty asked me to be the baby's godmother. Made me tear up, predictably. But it really means a lot to me. 10:00 a.m. - March 03, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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