caerula's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- at least I embrace my inner child Thank goodness Swoop and I aren't the only insane ones. We may be 12, but at least we're snarky 12-year-olds, and I'm glad there are others like us. I realized this morning it's been a week since I've written anything here. I'm not sure why, but I just haven't had the energy, I guess. The beginng of the week was very blah; I was tired and depressed, and back to work full time, and worried about bills and the adoption and YMB being gone and didn't have the energy to spare for anything else. I do feel better now, thanks. YMB has been gone since last Thursday on his yearly jaunt to Florida with the Dementors. He finally called last night, and talking to him cheered us up immensely. He's having a great time, of course, and it's not like they don't take care of him; I just hate to have him gone for so long (he gets back this coming Sunday) and I hate for him to be under their influence for so many days in a row. It's like having to do an intervention, or a deprogramming, when he gets back every year. Never mind the week of school he has to catch up on. It's also depressing being back at work full-time. I do still have a few things I can do at home, which Pobby is being really good about, so I've been at work 7 or 7 � hours every day and doing an hour or so of editing and corrections when I get home. It's doable, so far, but I have been exhausted, and going to bed by 10 or 11 every night. Which severely cuts into the time I can spend online squealing about you-know-who. Being a grown-up sucks. Speaking of being grown-up, we're trying to get all our finances and paperwork in order so that when we do the initial application for adoption it will go more quickly. This also sucks. If people had to do all this stuff before they could get pregnant, there would be half as many kids in the world. I know it will be worth it in the end, but what a pain to go through three years worth of files and paperwork. I'm hoping that our past financial difficulties aren't going to hurt us, since we've been working so hard to get everything in order and paid off. Our credit still isn't that good but it's obvious, I think, that we're working on it, and that we have the means to support a child and keep up with our bills. Everyone says the home study is never as bad as you think it's going to be, but it still makes me insanely nervous. Considering our past experience with social workers has been with hostile case workers in family court, I guess that's not too surprising. Next week � no, week after next � is our first informational meeting at the adoption agency. After that we'll probably have a clearer idea of our time frame, and we'll make the decision about what country we want to adopt from. Right now we don't feel particularly strongly about any one place; since race or complexion isn't an issue for us, I'd prefer to go with whichever country has the most streamlined process, frankly, and the most favorable situation for the kids. Guatemala, for example, had a really good systerm where the children are generally in foster homes from the time they enter the system. This is good for a couple of reasons � the babies get that one-on-one attention, they don't have the developmental delays that are seen in a lot of babies that come from orphanages, and they don't have the potential bonding issues that result from not getting individualized attention. Korea is another country that has a similar system, and they also require less paperwork, relatively � it's a lot of paper no matter where you go. We�re not fixed on having either a boy or a girl � I figure if we had one naturally, we wouldn't get to choose, and I don't want to make the process longer by fixating on one or the other. So we really have a lot of options right now. I've been going to Curves still � I've gone twice this week, and I'm going to try really hard to get up and go tomorrow morning � and I'm starting to actually feel the benefits. Not that I've lost weight or anything yet � it's only been three weeks � but I do think it's helping my energy level, at least on the days that I go. Which makes me want to go more, so that's all good. I even dragged Cyn along with me last night. Oh, and the reviewing gig came through. Right now I have a box of 17 books sitting in the den that I'm working my way through for the July issue. And it's paid position! Not a huge amount, but a little extra to stick into the Baby Fund and maybe � if I can convince Blue � to pay for a cable modem. Just found out we can get cable internet where we are finally, and it is kind of expensive, but considering the amount of time we spend on line I think it would be well worth it. Especially if I'm bringing in a little extra. We'll see, but I think I can manage to bring him around. If I can convince him I want it for more reasons than speeding up the amount of time it takes me to download Clay's mp3s. Hee. 10:08 a.m. - May 02, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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