caerula's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- horny 9 year olds, sex, puzzles, etc Gack. What a night last night, and what a morning already. Went over to Mom and Dad's to quilt w/ out distraction, except Dad was home sick apparently w/ gout. He tries to put a brave face on things but he's as much a baby about pain as I am, so poor mom has to listen to how much his foot hurts all day. We do dinner (but no pie), by which time Blue shows up and it's already 7 pm. We leave him to clean up � it's what he's best at, after all, although sometimes mom cannot figure out his logic in where he puts things. So I go quilt for a good two hours. It's going far more slowly than I'd like, considering I have two weeks to finish it, even on Mom's bells-and-whistles machine. For some reason it nearly impossible to stipple (click on the picture for number 3, free motion, which is mostly what I do) on her machine, and I keep getting points where I want curves. Grr. Practice, practice. So when I left there around 9, I went to insane Grandma and Auntie's house. Auntie called trying to track me down, since she had those books for me from England, and I really nice print of the Tower of London and Tower Bridge. And a deerstalker hat for YMB, which is just too cute. Anyway, I wanted to go buy and pick up this stuff, and I wanted to go by when I knew Auntie would be there and I wouldn't be alone with Grandma. Yeah, that worked out well, I was still there for over two hours, holding this books in my lap I so desperately wanted to start and couldn't because one or the other kept telling me stories. At least Auntie's stories were funny, from her trip and stuff; Grandma's were about someone or other she hated 30 years ago, and then about how she taught herself to read from the newspaper. Sigh. Can't remember something Auntie said to her 5 minutes ago, but 40 years? No problem. The good thing, I noticed, is that Auntie has gotten much better about saying to Grandma "Mom, we don't need to talk about this right now" and cutting her off. I mean, Grandma starts yelling at me about Dad not taking care of himself (i.e. the gout) and I said, well, don't talk to me about it, talk to your son, you are both alike when it comes to that. "Well then if he doesn't want to hear it why does he keep getting on me about my health and how I shouldn't be driving?" Well, because you're 80, half blind, mentally ill, and so bent over with arthritis you can't get off the toilet without help. Of course I didn't say that, I just looked at her, and finally Auntie said "there's no point getting on Caerula about this, she can't control her Dad anymore than we can get you to cooperate." That did shut grandma up for a while, but she kept wandering in and out, so I could hardly get a word in to Auntie. Anyway, so that killed my evening up until 11:30. And I love talking to Auntie, even though she's awfully conservative about some stuff, so it could have been a nice night. Oh well. Finally got home and Blue met me at the door, he was starting to get worried but knew I was at Grandma's. I told him he should have called over and rescued me an hour before. Then of course I had to check my email, and got caught up in conversation with Natalieeeeeeeee and Swwoophood (1.5 pie) where as normal we gossiped and complained and caught each other up on stuff. Too bed by around midnight, where Blue, not working for once, was feeling a bit amorous. The only problem was, what with one thing and another (irregular bleeding, me in the hospital, him working so many nights in a row, etc) it had been a while, and we were both tired, so it wasn't exactly spectacular sex. It was nice sex, though, which is still better than no sex. And we did have some, erm, difficulties which had me laughing hysterically, and which kind of put a damper on Blue's mood (no sweetie, I know they weren't THOSE kind of difficulties, that's not what I'm trying to say. I know you've never had THAT problem). But my giggling apparently puts him off, especially when it's inspired by a sudden image flash in my brain of the little fat naked people in the bathtub in YMB's "Where Did I Come From" book. I swear, that book should be given out in junior high health as a form of birth control. You see that little guy's fat butt sticking up in the air and the chubby happy woman lying pleasantly under him (because, you know, all women get off during intercourse, but that's not somewhere you want to go with a nine-year-old, really), and it will put you off for quite a while. Trust me. What cracks me up is this classic book was written by Peter Mayle, of Weekend in Provence or whatever fame, and yet it contains sentences like "v@gin@ rhymes with Carolina" � so just remember that the next time you forget how to pronounce the word. Seriously, we did have at least part of the sex talk with YMB, because a) he's nine, it's about time and b) he's a flirty kid, and around 4'2", so when he goes to hug a woman (and he's an affectionate kid, as well) you can just imagine where his head normally ends up. So Mark had the puberty talk w/ him, while I sort of hovered in the background confirming that yes, most girls are very sensitive about breasts and/or lack thereof, and it's not appropriate to comment in any way. More about puberty followed, as we have a cousin just turned 13 whose voice is changing, etc, and YMB wanted to know all about that, and how it's different in boys and girls. You know, you know these questions are coming, but you're never quite ready for them. Blue did pretty well. But he had to go to work that night, and it was the next day, while he was sleeping, that YMB comes back to me with all the questions he's thought up during the night. And I think that conversation deserves an entry all to itself, really. It wasn't nearly as bad as I expected, and I think I deserve a medal for not laughing at any point in time, especially when it finally clicked with YMB and he burst out "It's like a puzzle!" You'll just have to hold out until then. 11:07 a.m. - July 11, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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