caerula's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

numb

I can't feel the left side of my face. I hate that.

I am having these incredibly weird major mood swings. This has been going on for the past few days, and although it's happened before it usually is not this pronounced. I felt great on Wednesday, giggly and happy and everything. So-so yesterday, tired but okay, until I got home from work, and then I fell apart. Took a nearly two-hour nap, went back with BB to look at the house, hit the library and the grocery store. I was okay once we were out and about, and I found 4 books on the new book shelf at the library that I actually wanted to read, including the new Sarah Bird and the new Nick Hornby.

Then we got back to the apartment, and I went to bed. I read for a little while, couldn't go to sleep, read some more, got up for a few minutes around 11:30, went back to bed, still couldn't sleep, and got back up around 1, whereupon I had a mild panic attack and started shaking really bad. I felt awful, achy in all my joints and so exhausted and I wanted to sleep so badly, and I couldn't. I don't know why I get these attacks. That's the only way I can think of them, really. I'm feeling fine, and suddenly I'm plunged into this blackness where I can't sleep and can't move and can't stop shaking. Or I start hyperventilating out of nowhere. BB finally made me take half a sleeping pill; I didn't want to because I knew I'd be woozy this morning, and indeed I was, but I don't know how else I would have gotten to sleep.

Well, it's Friday. That's something. I had to go to the dentist first thing this morning for a filling, and while that in itself wasn't bad, the residual numbness and bad taste in my mouth has left me a bit nauseated and sickish-feeling. I started shaking again after I got to work, so I sat here facing the computer with my back to the passage and pretended to be studying the screen very hard until it mostly passed. I'll have to stay late tonight to make up for coming in late, but when I do get home finally I will take a long nap and maybe that will help. MIL is coming tomorrow to help pack and I need to be very rested and prepared for dealing with her. She's a lovely person but rather flighty and perhaps a few fries short of a Happy Meal, and I spend a lot of my time with her biting my tongue and practicing extreme patience. I'm not sure how much help she'll be, and it makes me a tad nervous to think of her packing my breakables. Eek.

10:01 a.m. - 2001-08-03

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries: