caerula's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a baby in the family. just not mine. Well. Kitty�s pregnant. Sigh. I�m happy for her. She and CF have been trying nearly as long as we have, and with no medical explanations for their difficulties. And I'm thrilled that I will be an aunt for the first time. In a way, it�s good that she will go through it first. But Christ, you know, she�s just one of those people that everything works out for. Floats along in her little bubble, and things just work. Not that I want her life � far from it. But, oh, it hurts. Deep down, where I can�t say anything to anyone but Blue, and my very best friends, who don�t know Kitty. At the family gathering yesterday, I kept getting the �are you okay� look. I don�t want sympathy. It will happen for us, maybe. Maybe. And we�ll come to it the hard way, and maybe that means we will appreciate it more. Maybe. I got some very good advice from a very reliable source on that last night, when I was busy feeling sorry for myself. But next May, when Mother�s Day rolls around and we�re still waiting, and saving money, and Blue isn�t finished with school, Kitty will be there with her baby and her perfect little suburban life. Sigh. 9:49 a.m. - September 02, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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