caerula's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- finally... I started migrating over here. It's so much better. I'm not shutting this down or anything. I'm not sure what I'll be doing over there yet. I'm also working on getting a main site up and running for my crafty stuff and things I'm selling. I'll let you know. 12:57 p.m. - March 22, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- urge.to.kill Nephew Squirt has been in the hospital since Thursday with a rotavirus. Fortunately he�s improving and I just heard from my dad that he was able to go home today, although it will be a couple of weeks before he's really better. But in the meantime the urge to kill Asshat BIL has gone from a low-level buzz to full blown fury. Kitty stayed at the hospital with Squirt the entire time. Asshat went back and forth, letting out the dog and what not, but went home to sleep every night. Thursday night my mom and I discussed going up there to help Kitty out and just so she�d have some family around. Friday morning Mom talked to Kitty, who told her that everything was under control and she didn�t need to come. Friday night Kitty was sobbing into the phone, at the end of her rope just because she was so tired and hated so much seeing Squirt in the hospital; she knew he was going to be fine but of course is just emotionally drained. So Mom says, well, we�re coming up there and Kitty didn�t argue. Saturday we drove 5 hours up to TC. Sarah tells Mom she wants Mom to stay at the house so that when Squirt comes home Mom will be there to help whenever. This lets me out since they only have the one extra twin bed � unfortunately sleeping on the couch or the floor at their house is impossible because of their oversized out-of-control beast of a dog, who does not understand the concept of �down!� I offer to stay in a hotel by myself but basically am getting the sense that Kitty doesn�t want me there, not because she doesn�t want me there, but because Asshat doesn�t and of course we don�t want to upset his ordered little world. So I drive 5 hours back home. Today I hear from Dad that Mom has checked into a hotel. Asshat apparently took her aside before they brought Squirt home and explained that they hadn�t really �discussed� Mom coming up and he really though Kitty and Squirt needed some peace and quiet. The unspoken part, of course, was �so go home.� She hasn�t, of course, but I have no idea how this is going to play out. I know their marriage and their issues are none of my business. I know Kitty can�t, unfortunately, be forced to stand up to her husband and tell him that she needs her family around, particularly in times of trauma, and he can suck it up or leave. But that does not stop me from being So.Incredibly.Angry. Angry at Asshat for being such a fucking ass, and angry at Kitty for putting up with it and allowing him to dictate to her about her family. Now she�s going to be stuck in the house with Squirt for a couple of weeks, at least, since he�ll be contagious for a while. She won�t get out to playgroup and church, which are basically the only places she goes aside from the grocery story anyway. Because Asshat can�t keep Squirt by himself for more than 45 minutes. That�s the time limit. If she can�t go somewhere and be back in 45 minutes, she has to take Squirt with her or not go. Can you imagine letting your partner dictate to you like that? What would possess someone to not fight that sort of domination and emotional abuse? Kitty was always a fighter. She argued with our parents, with friends, teachers, boyfriends, store clerks, and random strangers. But she lets this shit go on. I don�t get it. For God�s sake, Asshat told her that Squirt can�t wear the Easter outfit she picked out because a) she got it without consulting him, while she was down here at the beginning of the month, and b) Mom paid for it. What kind of dad is so controlling that his year-old son�s clothes must be approved by him? Is that not insane? And shouldn�t that be some kind of sign to Kitty that he�s completely lost it? And Squirt being so sick will likely make him only more paranoid; he�s probably going to decide that the baby picked it up while they were down here (the one time Kitty�s come down and stayed without Asshat) and that they really shouldn�t travel with Squirt until he�s older. I wouldn�t be surprised. Ass. 6:34 p.m. - March 21, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7 things Stolen from Andreah:
Seven things you REALLY shouldn�t say in our house:
Seven things that get said ALL THE TIME at our house: 4:18 p.m. - March 17, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- all this and a handy timeline Things are better. I am cautiously optimistic. Also, I had sex last night. With my husband, thank you very much. And it was good. So I�m just trying to forget that last Friday I was eating Philly cream cheese with a spoon straight out of the package.
Shoot me now. I participated in the American Idol voting process last night. I think Ryan Seacrest hypnotized me with his scary hair and eyes and made me do what he said. But after the day I had yesterday, really, no one could blame me. Here, I�ll tell you about it. (What a shock.) With a handy timeline.
6:45 am. Get up to light snowfall and perhaps � of an inch on the ground. I think there we will mercifully close the scene. Oy. By the way, the smarter tech guy still hasn�t shown up to fix my problem, although the computer now seems to unstick itself if I repeatedly wham the shift key. So at least I haven�t had to restart.
12:53 p.m. - March 17, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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