caerula's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- funk I feel very funky today. Woozy, head-spinning, with that "I must sit down or I will fall over" feeling. I don't think I'm getting sick, but that's all I can compare it to. And while I'm usually freezing in the office, today I have on a sleeveless shirt and I still feel flushed, kind of prickly all over, and headachey. Does that make sense? I wonder if it's a med thing. Every time I feel the slightest bit unusual, I wonder if it's my meds, despite the fact that my doctor is decreasing my dosages, not increasing them, and hasn't actually changed anything in several weeks. Welcome again to my wonderful world of feeling weird. The weekend was not terribly restful. Volunteered at the quilt show on Saturday (although it's not technically volunteering, I don't think, when they make you do it), and was on my feet for several hours trying to get people from touching the quilts. Despite big signs posted all over saying "Do Not Touch Quilts." Oh well. I could have predicted the absolute lack of compliance with that request. It was quite nifty to see my quilt there with the others, some of which were absolutely spectacular and some of which weren't nearly as well done as mine, if I do say so myself. Since I was worried that mine would be absolutely the worst thing there, that was definitely a relief. I have pictures to post, which I will upload tonight. I was good and spent under $20 at the vendors, buying only a few irresistible fat quarters of fabric. Funny how I spent Thursday night moaning to Blue that I would never do this again, but seeing all the gorgeous quilts and new design books and fabric inspired me all over again. I suppose that is kind of the point. Yesterday morning had an absolutely horrific company-wide meeting, where we were urged to be like Rocky � yes, the Sylvester Stallone movies � and keep the company on top. Rocky got complacent, he lost his championship, it took a lot of hard work for him to regain his title, etc. They played the various Rocky themes, loudly, a montage of scenes from the movies, and various suits came out with speeches meant to inspire, during which the phrase "eye of the tiger" was used no less than 16 times. And the CEO, swear to whatever gods there may be, came out in a red silk boxing robe, tshirt, red boxing shorts, and gloves. And made half-hearted punches at a punching bag labeled "Competitor." This entire spectacle took about three hours, and was only survived because we sat in the bag and were quietly snarky. At the beginning, when we went in and sat down to loud peppy music and a screen shot of Rocky running down the steps with his arms over his head, I leaned over and said to Cyn that someone was going to come out in a boxing outfit. When the CEO actually did, at the end, I nearly died. I really must get out of the corporate world. I'm just not meant for this sort of jingoism. Poor Cyn was, I think, shocked and appalled that this actually took place at a corporate quarterly meeting. What she didn't know, and probably still finds hard to believe, is that this wasn't nearly the worst one. Heh. And of course, of this three-hour interminable event, perhaps 1/5 of it even remotely applied to our department. Pathetic. Well, we're not the big money-makers anymore, so they tend to forget we're even here. Which is fine with me, really, but I don't see why we have to attend these idiotic meetings when none of it even has anything to do with us. Frankly, I don't know what half the departments here do, and I really don't care. An interesting thing happened last night. I went to bed at a decent hour for once � 10:30, which is way early for me � and although it still took me well over an hour to get to sleep, as I was lying there trying not to think about making myself go to sleep, a story idea popped into my head, nearly fully formed. It's been ages since I did any actual fiction writing, over two years at least. I've thought about it constantly, but haven't had the motivation to get down to it. And haven't had any ideas for finishing anything that was in progress back when I was writing. So this was an interesting experience. I may actually sit down and write this story. I don't know that it's a particularly good idea, or that it will be a particularly good story. But it's a start. YMB leaves again tonight for nearly three more weeks with the Dementors. I can't believe it's that time again already, that it's nearly August, and when he comes back we'll have exactly one week and then school starts. Sigh. Summer is flying, as it always does, but it seems to be even worse this year. We had such crappy weather in May and June, so few nice days to spend outside, and then June and July haven't exactly been banner months for me in any case. August in Michigan is rarely pleasant, and if the last few days are a herald of the weather we can expect, yuck � muggy, in the nineties, glowering dark clouds, and thunderstorms nearly everyday. It's like walking outside into warm Jell-O. Even after it storms, nothing seems to break the heat and humidity. Some nice sunshiny days in the upper 70s would be nice. Yeah, right. So there's no good weather to look forward to, and nothing in particular happening. In July, we had something going on every damn weekend, and I never seemed to get a chance to relax, between weddings and parties and art fairs and finishing the quilt; in August, it looks like I may be bored to death, except for the one weekend we're going to Stratford, which only merits a half-day off work. Why can't things spread themselves out a little more? Never mind seeing nothing of YMB until the 18th. Sigh. As pesky and annoying as he can be, I missed him a lot last time, and it's just worse this time, knowing that when he gets back there will be no time to relax and have fun before we're back into the school whirl. We didn't have any time or money during these couple of weeks to even do a weekend getaway; I'm not sure the situation will be any different when he gets back. Last year we went up north to visit Kitty the week before school started, but school is starting earlier this year, the 26th, and who knows if Blue can finagle time off that week? Probably not, what with the hotel having issues with people taking time off during the first couple of weeks of students moving back on campus. The hotel is full of parents and alumni, the first home football game is played, and generally the streets of Ann Arbor are taken over by mini-Uhauls, SUVs, preppy freshmen, jaded grad students, and other manifestations of fall on campus. Sigh. What a boring entry this has been. I'm depressing myself. Blah. But, just to make myself write something cheerful, all the rain has made most of my flowers gorgeous, and when I get home I will take and post some pictures, which will make this entry all colorful and cheery. If, that is, it's not raining when I get home. Ugh. 11:13 a.m. - July 30, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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