caerula's Diaryland Diary

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stuff

Over the long weekend I dug out and am reading a bunch of old romance novels. Started one of the Bent Creek cross stitch patterns I had around, and played a bunch of Zoo Tycoon. Comfort stuff, rather like comfort food.

Boring boring boring morning at work; Bosslady isn't here, and I'm missing a vital bit of info, so instead have spent a large part of the morning catching up on email (yet another pregnant friend � it's an epidemic!) and reconstructing the quote files from my old web page. I have my new main page set up, sort of, but there's pretty much no content there yet, and I have this lovely image of reading lists, a searchable quote file, book reviews, a blog, and who-knows-what. But I lost a lot of the actual content when my old pages crashed, and I'm trying to dig it out. Ugh.

Going back to the doctor this afternoon; in yet another bizarre thing my body has decided to do to me, I have these really painful lumps on my legs, and they've gotten very red and swollen. Sorry, tmi, I know, but what do you expect from me? My legs are hurting all the time. It�s just really weird. I'm glad Auntie works at my doctor's office, otherwise I can imagine trying to call and schedule an appointment. "You have lumps on you legs? What do you mean?" Auntie didn't quite understand either, but then she saw my legs on Sunday, all covered in red swollen patches, and got me on the schedule right away.

Otherwise, things are good. My sore throat and ear infection seems to be mostly gone, although I've got a bit of a nasty cough, still. I'm dealing pretty well with Kitty's pregnancy, much better than I thought I would, in fact; I even bid on (and won) some baby fabric on Ebay that I think she'll like. This does give me a good excuse to look at baby stuff without people thinking I'm nuts, after all. And I've been able to think of lots of positive aspects of it. I'll get the fun stuff without the noisy poopy stuff. I get to be an aunt for the first time. YMB will have his first cousin on my side of the family. I'll have the benefit of actual "mom" experience and can be supercilious about it when the baby becomes a toddler. We'll be the benefit, one hopes, of hand-me-downs and used baby furniture.

And I know, for all practical purposes, that we'll be in a much better position to start a family after Blue gets his certification, now that he's definitely decided to go for it. Once we do have a baby, whether it's through IVF or adoption, I'll be able to at least take more time off work, if not go back part time or not at all for a while. Blue will be able to set his own hours and do freelance stuff for a while if he wants. This is going to be a difficult year, but I really hope that by this time NEXT year, we really will be in a better place. Of course, I believe I said that last year, too.

But, actually, you know, we are in a better place. Not really where I'd hoped or thought we'd be at this time, but definitely better off emotionally, if not necessarily financially. We're more responsible, YMB is more settled, Blue has definitely grown up a lot, and I've dealt with some hard truths and mostly faced up to them. Not bad, really.

11:11 a.m. - September 04, 2002

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