caerula's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- philosophical "Giles, DUCK!" Sorry. Still in Buffyland for a moment there. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is utterly ridiculous television, no doubt about it, but it's still the one television show I don't miss. (Unless stupid UPN Detroit screws with their schedule because of stupid sports like basketball.) Clever and snarky and really awful sometimes. But I really really don't want Giles to get his head chopped off. What an awful thing to do, end a show on the downswing of a big ol' axe like that! Oh, but otherwise, it was a great hour of tv last night, and succeeded in taking my mind of my own and other people's problems for a little while, which is, of course, the whole point. Everyone is still sick Chez Blue, including, inevitably, myself. At least, I'm headachy and achy in general, which is how Blue started out; I don't have the runny nose and hacky cough yet, thankfully. Swwoop advised me to wave the bucket around, but Mr. Swwoop opined that I'd probably just drop it on my head, and maybe I should just rub it, instead, like a genie lamp. I wonder what kind of genie a bucket would produce? I was really down when I got home last night, for some reason. Just tiredness, I guess. Slept a little, and even got to the point where I was squeezing out a few tears, and YMB managed to cheer me up. Thank God for him. I think part of it is Blue being sick and draggy; lately he's been so up and full of energy and everything that he's what keeps me from collapsing, and so when he's down, it sucks me down too. He did manage to drag himself to class last night, and I was unhappily facing the prospect of an evening with a sniffling hacking complaining YMB. But he surprised me. Happily slurped down his chicken noodle soup (from a can; I couldn't face any kind of cooking last night) and then with only a minimum of complaint finished his homework and helped me clean up his room. Why cleaning YMB's room should have cheered me up, I don't know, but it did. Maybe just that he was being cooperative for once, or just listening to his chatter while I cleared a mountain of dirty clothes out of his closet, or laughing at him while he "found" things he'd forgotten about � "I haven't seen that in YEARS" as we drag a Lego kit out from under a pile of bedding, and "HERE'S my watch" and "How did that get THERE???" Kind of entertaining, actually. And we settled in to watch Buffy � a major privilege for him, and he has to cover his eyes if I say so � and debated vampire logistics and likelihoods, and he took his cold medicine and went to bed, and I came online and chatted for a few minutes with Diddy and Swwoop (see aforementioned bucket conversation) and then actually got to spend some time with my hubby when he came home from class, since he didn't have to work last night. I do have blessings worth counting. And a major one, I realized last night, is that I have learned to laugh at and pull myself out of my own bad moods and pity parties. Things aren't great right now in a lot of ways, but you know, I think I'm mostly over it. In that I'm sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself and just wishing things were easier, or different. They aren't, and they aren't going to be, at least not for a while. Oh well. This is how it is, this is the situation we are in, mostly of our own choosing � some not, of course; I never asked to be infertile, or have stupid ankles � and we are dealing with it as much as we possibly can. Which is all we can do. Right? Right. Enough philosophy. 2:47 p.m. - November 20, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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