caerula's Diaryland Diary

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finally...

I started migrating over here. It's so much better.

I'm not shutting this down or anything. I'm not sure what I'll be doing over there yet.

I'm also working on getting a main site up and running for my crafty stuff and things I'm selling.

I'll let you know.

12:57 p.m. - March 22, 2004

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urge.to.kill

Nephew Squirt has been in the hospital since Thursday with a rotavirus. Fortunately he’s improving and I just heard from my dad that he was able to go home today, although it will be a couple of weeks before he's really better. But in the meantime the urge to kill Asshat BIL has gone from a low-level buzz to full blown fury. Kitty stayed at the hospital with Squirt the entire time. Asshat went back and forth, letting out the dog and what not, but went home to sleep every night. Thursday night my mom and I discussed going up there to help Kitty out and just so she’d have some family around. Friday morning Mom talked to Kitty, who told her that everything was under control and she didn’t need to come. Friday night Kitty was sobbing into the phone, at the end of her rope just because she was so tired and hated so much seeing Squirt in the hospital; she knew he was going to be fine but of course is just emotionally drained. So Mom says, well, we’re coming up there and Kitty didn’t argue. Saturday we drove 5 hours up to TC. Sarah tells Mom she wants Mom to stay at the house so that when Squirt comes home Mom will be there to help whenever. This lets me out since they only have the one extra twin bed – unfortunately sleeping on the couch or the floor at their house is impossible because of their oversized out-of-control beast of a dog, who does not understand the concept of “down!” I offer to stay in a hotel by myself but basically am getting the sense that Kitty doesn’t want me there, not because she doesn’t want me there, but because Asshat doesn’t and of course we don’t want to upset his ordered little world. So I drive 5 hours back home.

Today I hear from Dad that Mom has checked into a hotel. Asshat apparently took her aside before they brought Squirt home and explained that they hadn’t really “discussed” Mom coming up and he really though Kitty and Squirt needed some peace and quiet. The unspoken part, of course, was “so go home.” She hasn’t, of course, but I have no idea how this is going to play out.

I know their marriage and their issues are none of my business. I know Kitty can’t, unfortunately, be forced to stand up to her husband and tell him that she needs her family around, particularly in times of trauma, and he can suck it up or leave. But that does not stop me from being So.Incredibly.Angry. Angry at Asshat for being such a fucking ass, and angry at Kitty for putting up with it and allowing him to dictate to her about her family. Now she’s going to be stuck in the house with Squirt for a couple of weeks, at least, since he’ll be contagious for a while. She won’t get out to playgroup and church, which are basically the only places she goes aside from the grocery story anyway. Because Asshat can’t keep Squirt by himself for more than 45 minutes. That’s the time limit. If she can’t go somewhere and be back in 45 minutes, she has to take Squirt with her or not go.

Can you imagine letting your partner dictate to you like that? What would possess someone to not fight that sort of domination and emotional abuse? Kitty was always a fighter. She argued with our parents, with friends, teachers, boyfriends, store clerks, and random strangers. But she lets this shit go on. I don’t get it. For God’s sake, Asshat told her that Squirt can’t wear the Easter outfit she picked out because a) she got it without consulting him, while she was down here at the beginning of the month, and b) Mom paid for it. What kind of dad is so controlling that his year-old son’s clothes must be approved by him? Is that not insane? And shouldn’t that be some kind of sign to Kitty that he’s completely lost it? And Squirt being so sick will likely make him only more paranoid; he’s probably going to decide that the baby picked it up while they were down here (the one time Kitty’s come down and stayed without Asshat) and that they really shouldn’t travel with Squirt until he’s older. I wouldn’t be surprised.

Ass.

6:34 p.m. - March 21, 2004

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7 things

Stolen from Andreah:

Seven things you REALLY shouldn’t say in our house:
1. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?
2. Could we maybe not watch the hockey game?
3. Well, then could we not watch American Idol for once?
4. Clay Aiken sucks.
5. We’re out of Mountain Dew.
6. You have too many books.
7. You’re spending far too much time watching those Buffy DVDs.

Seven things that get said ALL THE TIME at our house:
1. What is that cat doing?
2. The cat threw up.
3. That’s enough XBox.
4. The computer’s fucked up again.
5. This rug smells like dog pee.
6. I overslept.
7. Did you take your medication?

4:18 p.m. - March 17, 2004

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all this and a handy timeline

Things are better. I am cautiously optimistic. Also, I had sex last night. With my husband, thank you very much. And it was good. So I’m just trying to forget that last Friday I was eating Philly cream cheese with a spoon straight out of the package.


Shoot me now. I participated in the American Idol voting process last night. I think Ryan Seacrest hypnotized me with his scary hair and eyes and made me do what he said. But after the day I had yesterday, really, no one could blame me. Here, I’ll tell you about it. (What a shock.) With a handy timeline.

6:45 am. Get up to light snowfall and perhaps ¾ of an inch on the ground.
7:25 Blue gets home from work and informs me that the roads are really bad. I say "huh? It’s just wet."
7:28 Turn on the news to discover that the route I take to work on the days I have to drop the Kid off at school is not possible due to 23 being shut down precisely at the entrance ramp where I normally get on.
8:25 Drop the kid off at school, then go the opposite way from my normal route so that I can get on 94 instead.
8:32 Discover that the road I am currently on is blocked up ahead due to a roll-over. Get detoured through a sub-division by a policeman.
8:40 Finally make it out of the sub-division after blindly make several random turns. 8:45 Hear on the radio that there is an accident at 94 and Rawsonville, which is exactly where I am headed. Hear that there is an accident at 94 and Michigan Ave, the next possible entrance ramp. Hear that there is an accident and 94 and 23. Decide to go the back way via surface roads.
9:20 Arrive at work. Have been in car well over an hour for what is normally a 20-minute drive.
9:25-9:35 Bitch to co-workers about morning drive.
9:45 Discover that my work computer is still fucked up and that no one has come to do anything about it despite the service call I placed the day before and the promise that someone would come over "first thing in the morning."
9:50 Restart computer.
10:02 Restart computer.
10:17 Restart computer.
10:27 Get cheez-its from vending machine. Detour by tech office. The door is open, no one is there.
10:35 Place another call to tech services. Leave a cranky message.
11:05 Tech guy shows up.
11:0611:20 Computer pretends to be perfectly well-behaved.
11:25 Computer reveals its true nature to tech guy.
11:28 Tech guy declares this an application issue not a hardware issue.
11:29 I point out that several of my co-workers are also using the application and not having any problems.
11:31 Problem spreads to other programs, thereby convincing tech guy.
11:35. Tech guy scratches his head.
11:42 Tech guy goes off to “research the problem.”
11:45 Restart computer.
11:59 Restart computer.
12 noon – 1:35 pm Restart computer 4,796 times.
1:40 Tech guy shows back up to try something.
1:45 Tech guy does mysterious things with system menus.
1:46 Computer repeats problem.
1:52 Tech guy replaces keyboard.
1:54 Computer repeats problem.
1:55 Tech guy leaves to get something from his office.
2:13 Tech guy finally reappears with new mouse.
2:15 Tech guy replaces mouse.
2:18 Computer repeats problem.
2:25 Tech guy declares himself “out of ideas” and goes off to research some more.
2:26-4:30 Restart computer 3,932 times.
4:31 Tech guy returns to inform me that he still has no ideas and that my request has been "escalated" – tech services speak for "assigned to the next smarter guy."
4:45 Scrape the five inches of snow off my car that has accumulated during the day.
4:50-5:27 Drive home, singing very loudly along with Cher. Take back way.
5:28 Arrive home, having taken the back way again. Heave sigh of relief.
5:29 Walk in front door. See Kid sitting in front of the tv with a package of saltines, two slices of cheese and a box of Thin Mints. Blue nowhere in sight.
5:30 "Um, er, I have this thing you have to sign."
5:30:30 "Could you wait until I have my coat off?"
5:31 Take off coat. Set bag down. Look at Kid.
5:32 "Uh. I got in trouble."

I think there we will mercifully close the scene. Oy.

By the way, the smarter tech guy still hasn’t shown up to fix my problem, although the computer now seems to unstick itself if I repeatedly wham the shift key. So at least I haven’t had to restart.

12:53 p.m. - March 17, 2004

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